This story was originally written in the spring of 2021, and although I have told it a couple of times in classes, I never published it to my blog. The time has come.

I went for a jog after work this week. Exercising after work is an accomplishment in and of itself. No matter how appealing it sounds in the morning, by the end of a work day the pull to just go home is really strong. But on this spring day when I got out to my car and saw my running bag sitting in the passengers seat, I remembered my promise to myself from the morning: ‘If it’s not raining after work, I will go for a jog in the canyon on my way home’. I paused and considered my options. It had been raining all day, but there was a break in the clouds and rays of sunshine were slanting down from the western sky. It was a glorious evening. I went back in to the clinic to change my clothes.

Ten minutes later I was jogging up a canyon trail in the cool evening air. The creek was roaring and there were still patches of snow to navigate on the trail. There had been only one other car at the trailhead, and I soon passed its owner, a solo woman, hiking down the trail. After we both moved aside to make plenty of space to pass without breathing on each other , she said something to me that I could not hear clearly. I was several paces up the trail when my brain decoded the words, and I realized she had said “Good job!” I was too far away from her to say anything in reply, so I just let it sink in. “Good job! Good Job!”. It felt so nice, so supportive, like a warm blanket wrapping around me.

Professionally, I had been working as a front line medical provider during that whole first year of the pandemic. Personally, I had been doing what we were all doing, wearing a mask, not socializing and just trying to survive in a world where all the humans were suddenly afraid of each other. My heart softened, and I lifted my chin as I felt my body move up the trail. I was doing a good job, and it was a total stranger who told me so! Another woman out to stretch her legs at the end of her work day reached out across that 6 foot social distancing zone with this small act of verbal kindness. In that small moment I felt the weight of the isolation, loneliness and anxiety I had been carrying lighten and soften a bit. I felt a connection to another human being, a total stranger, and I felt compassion for myself warming me from the inside.

I also realized just how long it had been since anyone had said “Good job” to me about anything. Kids don’t tend to say that to their parents, and I certainly hadn’t been hearing it at work or saying it to myself. It felt amazing! I repeated it to myself a few times as I jogged back down the trail. I let the words surround me and embrace me, and I offered them to myself again and again as I drove home. Since that day, I have started saying ‘Good job’ to myself and to other people more often than I previously would have. Whether I am giving this gift of words to myself or to someone else, I find it genuinely warms my heart. Maybe someday my small affirmation will be just what someone else needs to hear. May it be so.

This small moment happened in the spring of 2021, a year into the pandemic, when so many of us were feeling isolated, anxious and alone. I have not forgotten its impact on me which was not only psychologically uplifting but also physically and emotionally nourishing. I’m guessing that the woman who said it had no idea what a gift she had given me, or maybe she was saying to me exactly what she needed to hear. Maybe this is a testament to how dry my own well was at the time, but I think it is also evidence that small moments of kindness can have deep impacts on total strangers. Although we are no longer in the depths of the pandemic, I am pretty sure that we have not been able to relax and exhale as a community or world. The social, political, economic and environmental assaults keep coming, and the world still feels insecure on a grand scale.

Tonight, on the evening the United States bombed Iran, the “Good Job’ story was handed back to me at a local dance by a woman who had heard me tell it years ago in an on-line MBSR course I taught during the pandemic. We had both just come off the dance floor for a sip of water, and I said to her “Good job”, which I guess is a weird thing to say at community dance on a Saturday night. But then again, maybe its not weird at all. I was acknowledging what it took to get here tonight. After hearing the news tonight, it took effort to break through the shock and paralysis and get off the couch. It took courage and gumption to get dressed and make it downtown. On this night, dancing was an act of resistance. On this night, joy was an act of resistance. Smiling, being light hearted and kind to one another was an act of resistance.

If you danced this weekend, good job! If you marched in the Pride parade or cheered the marchers on, thank you and good job! If you went to the farmers market and smiled at a stranger, good job! If you went for a jog or a walk or even got out of bed and did your own dishes, good job!

Even the simplest words of kindness can make someone’s day. Go ahead, try it!

Good Job

Chop Wood, Carry Water